Sunday, May 27, 2007

OK, That's It!

So I was walking by a window at this outdoor mall the other day and it happened to be mirrored, and... WTF? Who the hell is that short, fat guy in the..WTF?

When the hell did I get fat? Yes, FAT? I mean, I'd noticed that I'd been putting on a few pounds here and there but it was always that I was "a little chunkier." Now I'm really becoming a danger to myself. That is, I believe I'm at risk of any number of weight related ailments. Namely...OBESITY. But then there is also diabetes and heart disease. WTF?

So I NEVER thought that I would EVER call myself obese. A wrestler in high school and for a while in college, I prided myself on staying in shape and I suppose I looked down a bit on those with bad eating habits. I was a fitness snob, and I was proud of the fact that I was in control of my near-perfect bod. So what happened? Life, comfort, the desk job, the family, and where can I squeeze in the two-hour workouts now?

Of course, I'll be the first to reply SOMEWHERE! And of course, there is the diet and diminished activity and...Forget this, I can't take it anymore. FAT SEAN HAS TO GO!

I'm going to document my progress here for all to see - complete with photos (ew!) Yes, this is going to get worse before it gets better I'm afraid. So for all of you who knew me before, be forewarned. It ain't pretty. But I've gotta do it. That which is painful typically results in quick action. And let me tell you, looking at the man in the mirror, the full-length mirror, this is painful.

So my next post will include a photo of Fat Sean, all 220 lbs of disgusting me mass. And I hereby pledge that I will diligently work toward the goal of reaching a cruising weight of 170 lbs by October 15th, 2007. Weekly photos of Fat Sean will follow.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Are you gonna finish those fries? (jk) But seriously, are you?

Saturday, May 26, 2007

The Case of Starbucks and the Leaky Cup

This is a rant. Fair warning.

So, you've got this nearly ever present coffee shop company with a store on almost every corner in every major city, right. Heck, they're probably in every small city as well, down to the pueblo in Mexico. They can be anywhere because coffee sells everywhere. That said, and given that they are making beaucoup dough on the caffeine vice, WHY CAN'T THEY AFFORD BETTER CUPS?

Without fail, every time I go to Starbucks in a good mood, I greet the barista who is usually as chipper as ever. But as soon as she reaches for the cup, I feel the hair stand on the back of my neck and a shiver goes up my spine. I soon get the shakes and then when I finally get my cup of coffee, it is already dripping down the side from the seam at the top of the cup. This happens without fail! OK, maybe not exactly like that. Well not really like that at all. So I exaggerated a little bit, but it really does begin to leak about 10 strides out of the store.

But I know I'm not the only one experiencing this annoyance. I'm sure that Starbucks hasn't targeted me for their "Leaky Cup Anger Threshold Monitoring Program." Why hasn't this problem been addressed? This company is flush with cash and should be quick to respond to this issue. How many white outfits have been ruined by this little oversight? How many friendly handshakes have been avoided (or worse, substituted with the left-hand shake - disgusting) because of wet-coffee-hand.

It's time for us all - all the leak afflicted - to rise up and make a loud, angry noise in the land that it might reach ears in Seattle. Free us from the evils of defective coffee cups. Free us from brown stains (COFFEE!) and wet hands (COFFEE!) so that we can recover our social lives and once again enter into society, secure in our full cup of coffee, with joy in our hearts, and maybe a banana nut muffin.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Drawing Board

Who knows the original meaning of "Back to the drawing board." I'm sure it has something to do with design or architecture or something like that. And I'm sure that I could google it and come up with an answer right away, but then the question would be rhetorical (it really is anyway) and I won't do that to you (I did).

Well it's back to the board for me. I'm trying my hand at a couple more businesses. I tend to do this in stages. I'll give it a great effort, and then for various reasons in the past, the business fails. These reasons have ranged from staffing to cash. Mainly cash, or the shortage thereof.

With the latest forays, I'll be leveraging the skills of others, the beauty of art, the power of the Internet and my desire to retire. Or at least keep up that appearance.

Stay tuned.