Saturday, May 26, 2007

The Case of Starbucks and the Leaky Cup

This is a rant. Fair warning.

So, you've got this nearly ever present coffee shop company with a store on almost every corner in every major city, right. Heck, they're probably in every small city as well, down to the pueblo in Mexico. They can be anywhere because coffee sells everywhere. That said, and given that they are making beaucoup dough on the caffeine vice, WHY CAN'T THEY AFFORD BETTER CUPS?

Without fail, every time I go to Starbucks in a good mood, I greet the barista who is usually as chipper as ever. But as soon as she reaches for the cup, I feel the hair stand on the back of my neck and a shiver goes up my spine. I soon get the shakes and then when I finally get my cup of coffee, it is already dripping down the side from the seam at the top of the cup. This happens without fail! OK, maybe not exactly like that. Well not really like that at all. So I exaggerated a little bit, but it really does begin to leak about 10 strides out of the store.

But I know I'm not the only one experiencing this annoyance. I'm sure that Starbucks hasn't targeted me for their "Leaky Cup Anger Threshold Monitoring Program." Why hasn't this problem been addressed? This company is flush with cash and should be quick to respond to this issue. How many white outfits have been ruined by this little oversight? How many friendly handshakes have been avoided (or worse, substituted with the left-hand shake - disgusting) because of wet-coffee-hand.

It's time for us all - all the leak afflicted - to rise up and make a loud, angry noise in the land that it might reach ears in Seattle. Free us from the evils of defective coffee cups. Free us from brown stains (COFFEE!) and wet hands (COFFEE!) so that we can recover our social lives and once again enter into society, secure in our full cup of coffee, with joy in our hearts, and maybe a banana nut muffin.


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